NEVER HAVE I EVER

I CAN'T KEEP UP WITH ANYTHING OR BE CONSISTANT WITH ANYTHING, FOR THAT MATTER. 

SEPT

I'M TOO BUSY. AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS CRASH. I'M TOO SCARED OF FAILURE & IDK IF I CAN DO IT.

HELLO,

MY NAME IS ANGUS C. MAGGOT, FROM WORMS GRUBS AND OTHER MANGY CREATURES INCORPORATED. WE HAVE JUST RECEIVED A SHIPMENT OF LICE PACK IN AN OLD HORSES HEAD. WOULD YOU CARE TO PURCHASE SOME?

to remember this from when i was little makes me feel so happy. my mother told me this crank call when i was in elementary school when she walked in on my friend and i making crank calls. she sat down and said "oh yeah? write this down, we use to do this one all the time when i was a kid."  i somehow to this day remember word of word exactly what my mom told me to write that day. 

LYFS A BEETCH

IT MUST SEEM LIKE THIS IS ALL WE DO..

I SWEAR ITS NOT.

I want to start traveling, moving from coast to coast, live in mountains and on the sea, live in house boats and cars & travel like gypsies. I hate the idea of being tied down in one place for too long. Perhaps I just have the travel bug. Maybe I need to find my creative niche again. It could be the fact that I get so anxious when I think about how I have no clue what I should be doing. I'm afraid of wasting so much time. I don't want to have a life where five years from now I look back to five years ago and think "we should have been traveling and exploring, cuz now we can't." Pretty nauseating, wouldn't you say?

WHEN WE WERE SOMETHING.

IT'S REALLY EASY TO LOOSE MYSELF IN A SONG. REMEMBERING BEING AT A CERTAIN PLACE AT A CERTAIN TIME JUST FROM ONE SONG. AN ENTIRE CD REMINDS ME OF A SPECIFIC POINT IN MY LIFE. IT'S LITERALLY JUST A CONSTANT SLIDE SHOW OF ALL THESE MEMORIES. THERE ARE TOO MANY SONGS THAT REMIND ME OF BEING A CHILD WITH MY PARENTS. HEARING MY DAD LISTENING TO LED ZEPPLIN IN THE SHOP WITH MY NOSE BURNING AND HEAD HURTING FROM THE SMELL OF ALL THE PAINTS AND CHEMICALS OF THE FAMILY SCREEN PRINTING BUSINESS. REMEMBERING THE FUN I HAD WITH HIM, GETTING TO SPEND TIME WITH HIM WHILE HE WORKED, LAYING IN THE HAMMOCK AND EATING POPCORN LAUGHING WITH HIM, AND HIM SWINGING MY SISTER AND I ON THE TIRE SWING. I REMEMBER SUMMERTIME WITH MY MOM MEANT DRIVING ALL OVER PHOENIX IN THE NEW JETTA IN SEARCH OF AN ADVENTURE, LISTENING TO THE SAME CASSETTE OVER AND OVER AGAIN IN THE CAR. ITS NOT JUST REMEMBERING WHERE YOU WERE, ITS ALSO MEMORIES OF HAVING THE WINDOWS DOWN, SINGING BLUES TRAVELERS FOUR AND JOHN MELLONCAMP ON THE TOPS OF OUR LUNGS, THE FEELING OF LIVING IN THE MOMENT AND LOVING MY MOM SO MUCH AT THAT MOMENT. ITS' NOT JUST REMEMBERING WHERE YOU WERE, BUT YOU START TO REMEMBER SMELLS, THE SUN IN YOUR EYES, THE WIND IN YOUR HAIR, AND THE RING IN YOUR EARS. THERE ARE CD'S THAT MARK MY ADOLESCENCE. I GREW UP OFF MUSIC, I USE MUSIC TO TIMELINE MY LIFE. AND I KNOW I'M NOT ALONE.

I ENJOY LISTENING TO THESE OLD SONGS, LETTING THE MUSIC CONSUME MY MIND AND FLOODING IT WITH MEMORIES, FLASHBACKS AND THOUGHTS. I REMEMBER A LOT OF LITTLE THINGS: BFF'S, SILLY CRUSHES, CRUZIN' IN THE CAMERO AND THE SMELL OF THE UPHOLSTERY, SNEAKING OUT OF THE HOUSE/SNEAKING BACK IN THE HOUSE PAST CURFEW. JUST BEING CAREFREE WITH NO RESPONSIBILITIES. HAVING OUR FAVORITE SONG MEANT HAVING AN ENTIRE CD OF JUST THIS ONE CRAPPY POP PUNK SONG, A MONTH OF PLAYTIME, WHO GETS WHAT PART OF THE SONG - AND THAT'S THE ONLY PART WE SUNG - THOSE WERE THE RULES. NOT SLEEPING FOR DAYS, SMOKING VANILLA CLOVES AND THINKING WE WERE SO COOL, RUNNING TO SECRET SPOT WITH A PINT OF CHERRY GARCIA SITTING AT THE EDGE OF THE CLIFF WITH OUR IDEAS OF ADULTHOOD, OUR DREAMS/OUR GOALS, WHO WE WERE GONNA BE AND FEELING INVINCIBLE. A MILLION WORDS A MINUTE AND WE UNDERSTAND EVERY WORD. WATCHING THE SUNRISE AT IHOP, PEEING OUR PANTS LAUGHING SO HARD AND REMEMBERING TO THIS DAY THE NAME OF OUR SERVER. THOSE WERE THE DAYS.

IT'S THE FEELING OF BEING SO CONTENT WITH THIS ONE PERSON. AND I THINK OF ALL THE TIME WE'VE MISSED OUT ON TOGETHER AND THE FEELING OF WHAT I WOULD DO JUST THE HAVE THAT FEELING BACK, JUST FOR ONE NIGHT. THEN YOU REALIZE, YOU JUST WANT TO BE A KID AGAIN. BUT WE'VE GROWN, GONE DOWN DIFFERENT ROADS AND BECOME TWO DIFFERENT PEOPLE. WE WILL NEVER CONNECT ON THAT SAME LEVEL, AGAIN. WE WILL NEVER BE KIDS AGAIN, EVER.

WE WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER EVERYTHING, ESPECIALLY THROUGH MUSIC, WE'LL ALWAYS BE NEXT DOOR NEIGHBORS, I WILL ALWAYS LOVE HER, IT WILL ALWAYS BE THIS WAY.

2 DO LIST:

1. SNUGGLE WITH PUPPIES
2. BLOODY MARYS POOLSIDE
3. JULIE JULIE JULIE!!!
4. SLEEPOVERS & HANGOVERS
5. BEST FWIENDS
6. P.I.Z.Z.A.
7. KISSES FROM MOMMY
8. R&R
9. LOCAL DIVE BARS
10. PLAYING HOUSE
11. AWKWARD RUN-INS
12. MONSOON!
13. EINSTEIN BRO BAGELS.

SUN DAY FUN DAY.

ULTIMATE BRAW!

SM, CA.